Working My Way Through It

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I think I have finally reached the point that I know I will be okay.  We tell ourselves this all the time, even though we’re full of doubt and insecurities.  Friends are quick to tell you that “God doesn’t give you more than you can handle,” or, “I know it seems hard now, but you’ll be fine.  It just takes time.”  True enough, but when you’re going through these tough moments, these words can sound so empty.  Sometimes it really feels like life is over, and you wonder if you’ll ever see daylight again.

In this journey, I’ve learned that you must rid yourself of any toxic people around you.  Your own mind is going to shoot you down pretty hard, so you don’t need more negative voices telling you what you’re doing wrong or pulling you down into their own pit to keep them company.  Another thing I’ve learned through all of this, is you really need a loyal friend at your side.  Yes, my core message that I hope comes through every one of my blogs, is that God loves you so very much, and wants to be your comfort when there is no one else.  But I’m speaking of the need for an earthly friend, who will listen and hold your hand if that’s what you need.  But one who will also tell you when you’re overthinking or teetering over the edge of rationality.  I am blessed to have a friend like this, and I will always be grateful for her.

One sign that tells me I’m working through the pain is that I can be feeling so very lonely, but I’m able to reason with myself that this is part of the healing process.  I literally talk to God out loud, telling him I’m hurting, perhaps because I felt rejected, or that I’m sad because what I had hoped would happen, didn’t.  If I feel anxious, I speak to my feelings… “Is it because I said this?  Did I give up too easily?  Am I being irrational, or too emotional right now?”  It might sound crazy, but it helps. 

I’ve also learned that I don’t have to say aloud every single thing I’m thinking or feeling.  That has gotten me into trouble many times.  I will even digress that this was one thing I did in my marriage that was not helpful.  I know I hurt my ex-husband more than once because I expressed what I was ‘feeling’ in a negative way.  It would have been better if I had just kept my thoughts to myself to see if the feeling passed.  More than once, it had.

Not so long ago, I was very bitter.  I could have spit nails at anyone who looked at me the wrong way.  That bitterness is slowly turning into acceptance and resolution.  As long as we’re alive on this earth, we will continue to make mistakes.  We will be hurt by those we love, and they will hurt us.  It’s all a part of being human.  This life is just temporary, the dress rehearsal for Heaven.  How will we spend this brief time we are given?

God cares about the little things that concern us and will answer our prayers if it is His will.  He doesn’t want us to be lonely.  He created the woman for Adam, because he saw it wasn’t good for man to be alone.  He knows we need a job to provide for our loved ones, so He cares about our needs as well.  But ultimately, He is more concerned about who we are than what we do.  We can’t take our jobs or money with us to Heaven, but we will take our character.  I’m choosing to channel my energy into being a better person, to the glory of God.  He is the one I will need to answer to one day.

Finally, for me personally, reading God’s Word is a cure-all.  I love scripture, and I usually find what I need when I’m seeking answers.   I’m in the process of reading the Bible all the way through, and I happen to be in one of my favorite books, Ecclesiastes.  I’d like to leave you with some pearls of wisdom from the author, King Solomon, from chapter 5:18-20.  I hope it blesses you.

“Behold, what I have seen to be good and fitting is to eat and drink and find enjoyment in all the toil with which one toils under the sun the few days of his life that God has given him, for this is his lot.  Everyone also to whom God has given wealth and possessions and power to enjoy them, and to accept his lot and rejoice in his toil – this is the gift of God.  For he will not much remember the days of his life because God keeps him occupied with joy in his heart.” 


Lisa Jo

Lisa Hudson
Lisa Hudson

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