Last Sunday I was blessed with the honor of experiencing a much needed ‘mountain top moment’ from my God. It came about over the course of a few days, books I am reading, scripture, and our church sermon that day, and even our Bible study later in the evening.
At my age, I have experienced these moments before, so I faced this blessing with complete humility and awe, knowing they are merely glimpses into the promises of God. They are miraculous, and yet pass so quickly that you struggle to latch on to them like a lifeline, gathering as much wisdom from them as humanly possible.
The moment I knew I was on the top of that mountain, I knew the enemy would be coming at me with both barrels loaded, ready to aim for any exposed vulnerability I have. With that, I can provide many opportunities, so it was with even more determination that I gleaned any and every possible bit of knowledge God had prepared for me.
The most important message I can share from my moment in the heavenly realms, was that too much of my life focus has been on earthly things. Anyone who knows me at all, would probably understand this, and even sympathize on why this has been so.
But do you know what? My hope is in the promise of God and the lifesaving sacrifice of Jesus, my Lord. Therefore, he has reminded me that this is where my focus should be. Heavenly things hold all the answers, and everything we say and do should be based on this focus. This life on earth is fleeting and grasping for the wind. It is vanity at its core.
Yes, I am in this human body living on this earth, and other than the beauty of God’s creation, it usually brings me sorrow and grief over the humanness that has overtaken it. I speak in terms of confused spirituality, political and moral corruption, and simply the Godlessness all around us.
In my humanness, I have grieved over my life that was void of the love I needed, from the moment I was aware of that need, up to the demise of my 31 years of marriage. Is love possible here on earth? God, I hope so, but I guarantee it will be imperfect until God has sealed it with the blood of Christ.
In my humanness I grieve over my baby girl and her addictions and behavioral disorders. I grieve that one day I may hear that ‘dreaded news’ that she is gone. I grieve over my sons who are in their years of trying to find their way. God promises they will return to Him. I want to witness that day, but my heart’s desire is to go home. What a quandary.
I grieve over the earthly future of my grandsons because I don’t know if I’m strong enough to point them heavenward by myself, and no one on earth is helping me, at least not those who should be. It is going to take a mountain top miracle of God to show my grandsons who HE is. But I know he is able.
I grieve over my earthly body. I was never gifted with the body this world tells us we should have, and added to the lack of love I needed, my insecurities as a former wife, mother, woman, abound. Now at 58 years old, the signs of aging are seen in my skin, my bones, my joints. Today I am wearing a sling due to surgery that was needed, due to the effects of aging.
Knowing the enemy was going to have his time with me, God has allowed my pain to be minimal, and I feel strong and confident I will come out of this surgery and physical therapy just fine.
Until my recent mountain top moment, I was terrified of ending up alone in this world. The fear of never being loved in this life was crippling… But then God opened my eyes and allowed me to peek into Heaven. Although I know there will always be lonely days ahead as long as I am here, I am no longer afraid of being alone. God is faithful, and he will never forsake me.
In what sounds like a ‘Job’ type cry of despair, I am simply sharing my heart with anyone who might need to hear what I feel led to say. No, your hope is not from this world, and it never will be. You’re going to have tough days, tough weeks, perhaps even tough years. But Jesus has overcome the world dear ones. Your hope is in Him alone.
I pray you get to visit God on the mountain top for yourself very soon. Valleys are inevitable, but you are not in this by yourself. I’m a living testimony, and may I never give you cause to doubt His wonderful and unfathomable love.