I’m not going to lie. This has been a rough week for me. After a really nice and relaxing weekend last week, Sunday night I ended up taking a tumble that caused me to do a body roll, smashed both of my knees (yes, the same knee that is being prepped for knee replacement surgery), and broke a toe on my right foot. Thank the good Lord I didn’t have to go to work on Monday, being a holiday. I spent nearly the entire day lying in bed, nursing my many aches and pains. I had a doctor’s appointment on Tuesday for my knee, where he also confirmed my broken toe.
Where I live, we have been experiencing more snow and freezing temperatures than I can remember, so it is messing up the school buses running on schedule, if they are running at all due to school closures. There is a massive bus driver shortage with our school system as well, so it has been a crapshoot to know when the bus will arrive to take the boys to school. Again, I thank God for my new boss being so understanding with my obligations to my grandsons.
I don’t share any of this for pity’s sake. On the contrary, as usually happens when I am in what I call little valleys, I just need to purge. This has been one of those weeks of testing. Character building, if you will. I still drove to work each day, listening to Rick Warren’s podcast during my drive in to Nashville. That alone is enough to frazzle the nerves of the strongest of people. Due to the snow, the roads have been covered with salt, so of course, the salt weakens the asphalt on the interstate. My morning commute is never dull as I dodge potholes like I’m in a video game. For added entertainment, I speed up and slow down to avoid driving behind any trucks who unfailingly sling rocks at my poor windshield.
Due to the pain in my left knee and now a broken toe on my right foot, I hobbled into work each day, limping from side to side. It’s almost funny if you think about it. So funny I cried on my way into work on Friday.
After Rick was finished sharing his timeless pearls of wisdom, I was feeling very strange. I was trying to put my finger on it, and knew I needed added wisdom. I needed to call ‘my person’. If you don’t know who that is, I recommend you go back and read my first real blog, fittingly titled, “My Person.” Trust me, everyone needs ‘their person’. Women should have a female person and men should have a male person. But you need one. I jokingly call my friend ‘Sensei’, because she so wise.
As is true ninety-eight percent of the time (because she has a life too), my person was there to listen, encourage, and let me cry. I poured my heart out to her, just talking about the way the week had gone. I told her that I knew what was happening, but it was still hard to share my feelings without a big lump growing in my throat. I knew the tears were going to flow, but they ended up being cleansing and healing tears, not sad tears.
In my blogs, I often share about how God is always there for you, no matter what. I love to share the marvelous ways he has blessed my life and taken care of me and my loved ones. My Lisa Jo website tagline is “You’re Never Alone.” I believe as a Christian, weeks like the one I’ve just come through are the hardest to get through. I woke each day, tried to start off with reading a bit of scripture and journaling my prayers. I went to bed each night ‘listening’ to an audio bible to help me sleep. But as I shared with my dear friend, it was one of those weeks that I wasn’t ‘feeling’ God like usual, and seemed to be moving forward on trust and faith alone.
It’s so funny how he does things. Just weeks ago, he was overwhelming me with ‘warm fuzzies’ all over the place. He was literally blowing my mind with blessings. Boy is it easy to trust and believe and to say “God is Good” during those moments. It is absolutely excruciating trying to carry the same faith when God seems to be busy elsewhere. But these are his moments of testing and helping us grow. I knew this in my heart as I shared with my friend. The lump in my throat turned into tears falling down my cheeks, but I was in a better place afterward. The trials I’m dealing with still exist, but I felt lighter somehow, because I was able to share my heart with a person I trust, who has a monumental faith.
I’ve managed to get through this week and I lived to tell you about it. As a now-single woman at fifty-eight years old, raising my two grandsons, life gets very lonely for me. There are so many people out there who are lonely, just like me. I truly understand. I felt that loneliness big time this past week, when it felt like God was taking a week-long nap. At my age, the dating game is c-r-a-z-y. I’ve looked at dating sites, and even went out a few times. People you think are nice end up ghosting you, or end up being just plain weird. I even managed to be swooned by a scammer…lesson learned. The men my age on these sites either have one foot in the grave or they look like toads.
I guess it is only natural after a week like I’ve had to feel extra lonely. My Lord was ever distant, so I craved what we women crave, a good, strong, manly hug that I could feel, see, and touch. It’s funny, but it seemed like every man I have laid eyes on this week, who appeared to be my age, was just downright handsome. This made my present state that much more pathetic. I can’t tell you how many times I thought, “I want one of those!” I’m not meant to meet the right man from a dating site. God knows my heart, and he knows my hopes and dreams. Whether I ‘feel’ God’s presence or not, I know I can trust him with everything, including a potential mate. Simply, because HE IS GOD.
Well, the weekend is here, and I’m still alone with my two grandsons to keep me company. It’s all good though. I look forward to tonight when I get my big bed all to myself, prop up my pillows for my arthritic back, prop up my left leg with an ice pack, and redress my right foot toe and tape it to the toe next to it. I have my routine down, where I curl up with my new cozy Snoopy blanket (a Christmas gift from my person), might even pour a glass of sweet red wine, and watch Seinfeld which never fails to make me laugh. It could be worse. It definitely could be worse.
Hang in there, my friends.