Lead Me Where You Will

I love watching people, and to observe how different personalities are forced to interact with each other.  The workplace provides a great opportunity for this since we can’t always choose who we work with.  We can choose who we hang out with during our spare time, and even though we can’t always choose family, we are used to them, and we manage to work through it.

A challenge that is particularly difficult for me is when my superiors are younger than I am.  This week I was faced with a situation where I had one way of approaching a certain obstacle, and my supervisors wanted it done differently.  Having run my own business, I felt confident in handling myself professionally, but I also made sure that I was clear on my point of view.  Long story short, I lost the argument, felt as if I’d been slapped on the back of my hand like a child, so my ego was bruised.  Frankly, I was pretty ticked off.

I left work upset and took it out on the drivers in other cars. I fussed at my grandsons when I picked them up and fussed at my son who had called me for encouragement.  When I got home, I retreated to my room and laid on my bed to sulk.  I hadn’t listened to my usual podcast during the drive home, so I curled up on my bed and listened quietly as a message full of timely wisdom hit me right between the eyes.  It was about how trials in life can take from us all that we have; our clothing, our home, our money, even our loved ones, but they cannot take away our freedom to choose how we respond to the events we face. Yep.  Lisa had humble pie for dinner.  I did apologize to my son and my grandsons.

Even though in my heart I believe my way was the correct way with the situation at work, the fact remained that the final decision was not mine to make.  And on top of that, the message I was listening to reminded me that my ‘job’ is not the one I go to every day to pay for the things we need.  My real job is what God has planned for me to further His kingdom.  It was silly that I allowed myself to get so upset because in the grand scheme of things, the issue at work will be long forgotten. 

At the beginning of the year, I felt strongly that God was telling me this is the year to start taking better care of myself.  Now that I have a new shoulder and a new knee, I’ll be able to walk and do some exercises that I haven’t done in a long time.  I’m trying to eat more veggies and fruit, but my struggle to lose weight is a reality that I have always and will continue to face.  Physical health is so very important, but I believe God is leading me to get my spiritual health in order as well.

This last year has been a roller coaster of emotions, but I can tell you I have grown so much from where I used to be.  If you are familiar with scripture, it is well known that God hates divorce.  But I can tell you without one ounce of doubt that he was with me before I made the decision to separate, during the separation and the divorce, and God has not left my side up to this moment.  There have been some rough patches along the way, but my Lord has been faithful to keep me looking to him for answers.  When I was full of self-pity and thought I knew better at times, I always paid the price, usually full of regret.  He has never failed me.

Praise Him, that is no longer who I am.  I love reading scripture, and I love listening to my podcasts.  I’ve shared how I pray on paper, writing my prayers down so I have the joy of being able to look back and see answered prayers and personal victories documented.  Oh yes, I still have setbacks and bouts of loneliness, but God is always there.  More now, than ever, I want to seek His will for my life.  This website and being able to post my thoughts in these blogs are such a blessing for me. 

Recently, it was laid on my heart to start teaching again.  I always taught the littles in Sunday school, but I think having my grandsons with me so much has thwarted that desire altogether.  As I shared last week, I am about to begin my small group Bible study through my church.  I confess I am a bit nervous about opening my home and myself to a group of people I don’t really know.  It’s much easier to do this in a blog, where I don’t see faces or feedback!  But I am excited too.  I look forward to what God has prepared for us, and the never-ending lessons I still need to learn.  I pray others will learn something from me as well.  I pray God will continue to lead me where He wills, and that those I meet will see Jesus in me.  Now that’s a job worth fighting for!


Lisa Jo

Lisa Hudson
Lisa Hudson

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